How Julian Lennon always carries his father along

The Shadow

Few exhibitions in Liverpool are so touchy as White Feather. White Feather. The Spirit of Lennon is Julian Lennon's foundation to protect organism in general and their environment. White Feather refers to Julian's father who once said that if he died early he would tell by a white feather that he's doing fine.

By Dominique Verschuren

White Feather is in other words The Julian Lennon Collection. What does he collects in particular? Gold records, postcards, pics, costumes, jewelry, a motor, handwritten lyrics... too much to count. Mostly from his father. After 50 years it seems that Julian is still looking for his father by collecting everything about his dad. To keep him closer than he ever had. In the first 17 years of his life, Julian's age when John died, he saw his father bloody seldom. History repeats itself: like John screamed for his mother in the song with the same title - "Mother you had me, but I never had you" -, so try Julian to complete his father with ever piece he can get. And also Julian has to face the truth: although he can collect his own Charles Forster Kane Xanadu he will never fill the empty gap inside himself.

Even with the name of the foundation he tries to get his father closer: The Spirit of Lennon. Not "Julian Lennon", just "Lennon".

A difficult relationship

Julian Lennon has been born on April 8th 1963 in Liverpool. At the same moment his father rocked his ass off somewhere else in the country. The Beatles scored just their second number one hit, From Me To You.

Julian came too early in John's life. With his 22 years he was too much a child to be a real father. More than once he said he wanted to be a good dad, but even more times he failed. Reading papers, a lifelong addiction of John, costs less energy and give a bigger intellectual pleasure than playing with a two-year-old kid. He could be very impatiently, Cynthia Powell, John's first wife and Julian's mother, remembered: "While eating, Julian made a typical three-year-old's mess of the food and everything else on the table. John stood up and blew his top, screaming at this little boy who couldn't understand this man who he very rarely saw!"

Ironically John knew very well how he was rejected by his own parents. So he was really willing to be a good father, as he told reporter Larry Kane: "I just want him to grow up happy. That's the main thing. (...) Just love, that's the main thing, you know. He's just going to be happy and know he's wanted.' Despite Lennon's will to compensate his parents the impression Julian always would keep was different: "Living with my dad was about as cozy as living with a stranger. Although my father proclaimed "All you need is love" to the masses, he was unable to express his feelings to his own family. How can you talk about peace and love and have a family in bits and pieces, no communication, adultery, divorce?"

Julian and John at the end of 1970's

After the divorce Julian saw his father so now and then. They spent Christmas 1974 in Disneyland, a good time together. Some years later it went wrong. Cynthia writes in her biography: "Everyone was having fun, so Julian giggled. John was screaming to him: 'Stop that bloody laughing! I can't stand it.' Julian escaped to his room, stressed and crying. John's behaviour was cruel and since then it influenced Julian. Still he laughs very seldom." 

That was April 1979, the last time that father and son met each other.

Ashamed of your own weakness

Like his father also Julian was conceived by accident. Moreover John was ashamed of Julian's weakness. He saw so much of Cynthia in the little boy. But that's not the whole story. Julian not only looks similar to his father in his appearance. John also recognized his own insecurity on his son. Wasn't he too much faced with himself as he saw his shy son? Julian is the ultimate product of a scary, doubting father and a timid mother.

Chuck Berry illustrate perfectly how people look at Julian. During the concert Hail Hail Rock 'n' Roll the rock-'n'-roll-pioneer announced him with the words: "John... Julian... Lennon!" Julian don't know where to look, how he has to interprete these words, as a compliment or as an injury? Berry is not the only one who confused him with his father. Like everyone who starts talking about his father. How do you answer the question "How was your father?" if you never had your father?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YcPtitpLkk

How do you build up your own life and career as the outside world always asks for your father? His father as an everlasting shadow, because Julian stands in his own father's shadow. So he had to deal with his destiny as being John Lennon's son: "My father's name and reputation has made me even more keen to follow on. I see my work as a continuation, though I'm aware of the dangers of comparison. I'll do it my way, and don't want to be compared with him." With White Feather. The Spirit of Lennon he keeps searching brick by brick for his father till he collect all puzzle pieces. Just like John was searching for his mother.

ps: Lately I saw they replaced the White Feather exhibition by the story of how Elvis met The Beatles.

(Thanks to Helen Williams)

                                          Julian's world wide smash hit "Too late for goodbye's"

                                                     Julian's Beatle-esk ballad "Valotte"